“If God has called you, He will take care of you,” are the words that challenged me not to say ‘no’ when I had reached that stage of deciding whether to join the seminary or to decide to continue my life as a bachelor till I discern to get married.

Greetings to all the readers! To introduce myself, I’m Norman John Mathias from Yedapadavu, a rural area in Mangalore towards Moodbidri. I belong to Kuppepadavu parish. My dad, Mr Norbert Mathias is an agriculturist and my mom, Mrs Janet Mathias is a beautician at Yedapadavu. To mention something sensational about my family, I am the only child to my parents and also the only male to carry my family name. It is not sensational because of all this but because there are few such instances where a single child has joined the seminary to be a priest as there would be no one to take care of their parents later on (as testified by many since my joining the seminary). So, basically, this aspect of being the only child to my parents stands at the peak of all my problems to decide whether to join the seminary or not. 

 I was bought up in a rural setup where I did my schooling. My parish is about 4.5kms from my house if we had to walk through the shortest way. Yet, it was not a hindrance to me and my family to be there for Sunday services though it was tough to travel through the fields and hills in the early 2000s. I was regular for mass with my parents and for Sunday catechism. In the year 2002-03, my parish priest Fr Assisi Rebello began inviting brothers from the seminary for Sunday ministry at our parish which gave us an opportunity to learn music by playing keyboard. Fr Deep Fernandes, OCD was my first music teacher. Though I was just 9 years of age and had difficulties in travelling to church from that far at noon, my parents decided to send me to church with one of my Hindu friends from my village to accompany me for few Sundays till I learnt to go to church by myself. This Sunday activity gave a kick start to my life at church due to which I began spending longer time than usual and to get involved in several other church activities. I was more involved in choir and began conducting choir right from my fifteenth age. So, this kept me close to the church and God because it even made me spiritual.

I studied electronics under science branch in Alvas PU College at Moodbidri. Though I had a strict schedule at college where they kept us engaged even on Sundays, I would dare to miss the initial sessions on Sundays for the Sunday mass at my own parish. Nobody ever questioned me or held me wrong for attending mass though our attendance was tracked. Later, I entered St Joseph’s Engineering College at Vamanjoor. Here, I opted Electrical and Electronics Engineering. This place has an impact on my vocation. In actual, I would say that though I had joined this college to be an Engineer, it made me a candidate to priesthood. I was often found in the college chapel more than being found in the library. It all happened and changed once I was introduced to Jesus Youth movement at the college.

Our schedule had a short lunch break after morning sessions. I would spare some time after my lunch and go to the chapel and sit there for some time. Meanwhile, to my surprise, I heard few students gathering in the sacristy and praying and singing hymns and praises to the Lord. They were so free and fearless to pray loudly because their worship would hear till far in the campus. Every one there would finish their lunch and be there to pray for the intentions of all those who would drop an intention paper in the chapel intention box. Their charism and singing had drawn me towards that sacristy. It made me too to request them whether I can join them for prayers. They happily welcomed me. I enjoyed being with them though I didn’t know how to sing like them or spontaneously make a prayer and praise God with shouts of various praises. Slowly I learnt to pray like them and make a spontaneous prayer and so on. Eventually, they invited me for the Jesus Youth prayer meetings on Saturdays at noon. Though I didn’t know what it was, since I had trusted them, I agreed to be there for the prayer meeting. This brought a total change in my spiritual life. Its vibe and feel were so rich that I had never ever felt such a presence of the Lord in my life. The prayers that were made, the worship that was conducted, the testimonies that were shared and the fellowship that I experienced all left a lasting effect on me. I still remember that the effect of one prayer meeting would last for more than a week where I would feel God’s presence throughout. Those gatherings were so powerful that they left in me an everlasting impression of God’s presence in my life.

This made me to get in touch with many Jesus Youth members around and one day I was requested by one of my college Jesus Youth member to be a part of a diocesan retreat called ‘Yuvothsav’ held at Mulki on the occasion of the 125^th anniversary of the establishment of Mangalore diocese. I had to volunteer for the same. It was jointly organized by ICYM, AICUF, YCS and Jesus Youth. Hence, it required that the volunteers must attend the volunteers’ training program. Therefore, when I had attended the meetings, I was deeply inspired by the talks on the working of the Holy Spirit. It built so much courage and determination in me to work for the Lord. For the first time in my life I left as if I was not by myself but someone is moving and leading me. It gave me the boldness to mobilize many of my friends to be a part of the retreat. And during the retreat, I was even more moved by the testimonies, talks, music, adorations and so on. During one of the talks, a preacher while praying for the pouring down of the Holy Spirit on the gathering, asked us to stand if anyone felt like God is calling them to be a priest. I, after feeling a push within myself to say ‘yes’, gathering all the courage and letting go all my shame, holding my hands on my chest with my eyes closed stood up to say ‘yes’ to the Lord. After that, Jesus Youth helped me to experience the Lord in many ways at many places.

Four years later when the real time had come to decide whether to join the seminary or not, it was really a tough job to make a decision. Yet, after a lot of reflection and discernment and by being inspired by other seminarians whom I knew, I opted to join the seminary. Questions were plenty and my challenges were real. Journey seemed long and opportunity seemed waiting at my doorstep. I had a great career ahead, dreams to achieve, comforts to enjoy and open option to decide for my life. All that seemed a loss to me if I had not obeyed God’s plan and His call in my life. I couldn’t opt against the will of God who had a better plan for my life. As I had decided with myself to join the seminary, a lot of positive thoughts came to my help such as, “If God has called you, He will take care of you,” “God will lead you,” “What you think is a loss by becoming a priest is not a loss in actual. Having a good job tomorrow may keep you even more far from my parents for years!,” “You cannot oppose or fight or challenge God. Better to oblige with his call for my own good. For God’s plans are better than my plans.” It has been 8 years since then; Lord has kept me still in spite of not being faithful to him many times. I am certain that he has protected me and he will guide me forever.

Well, my story might seem good or bad to you to listen as per your way of understanding it. Yet, it is challenging to say ‘yes’ to the Lord and journey with him. But this journey is not my plan but His. So, why not journey as His plan? Vocation is a call and gift from God which has to be faced and lived being a normal human person with all imperfections. But in the eyes of the Lord we all are worthy to Him because God makes you worthy through His call. Do not be afraid to say a ‘yes’ to Him even if you feel that He is calling you. Because, if He is calling you, He will take care of you and all of your worries that stop you from saying ‘yes’ to the Lord. May He guide you in your decision making. Thank you. Pray for me!